An evening in Phuket - Ka Jok See

I travelled down to Phuket recently to spend a few days holiday with my friend Tom, who was over from Hong Kong. We had a couple of nights in Phuket town and decided we'd try and find a restaurant recommended by both our guidebooks called Ka Jok See. After a good half an hour of searching (why are all guide book maps so bad?!) we found this little wooden building on the corner of a side street of bars and restaurants.

We wandered up to the door and a short, slightly camp looking man greeted us. It seemed we had found the right place. "Yes, this is Ka Jok See - we are quite a private place - how did you find us?" We booked a table for the evening, and were told in no uncertain terms that we needed to dress smartly and that I was expected to dance. We walked away feeling slightly perturbed, but too curious to back out.

A few hours later we turned up and found the small restaurant half full and a very calm, slightly formal atmosphere - all candlelight and hush hush. We were welcomed and sat down. Shortly after being served drinks and an appetizer were presented with "frog companions" for our table by the waiter. Tom and I looked at the two small ceramic frogs and then at each other. "Salt and pepper pots?" I asked. Tom looked at the frogs. "No. Just frog companions".

The food was beyond delicious and as the evening went on, some of the waiters asked various women to dance with them during breaks in the courses. Tom and I laughed at all the men who sat there looking slightly uncomfortable when their women were up and dancing with the waiters - until of course one of them asked me to dance and I turned beetroot as I tried to remember a bit of salsa and Tom had his turn at looking awkward. We tried to figure out the story behind the other people at the restaurant - they were all farang. Some were families, some couples, and some male farang with their young Thai wives. But there was something Tom and I couldn't really put out finger on about the atmosphere...

Shortly, we thought we had found the answer. One of the waiters stood at the back of the restaurant holding up some flyers. Tom looked at me, a note of slight panic in his voice. "Those flyers say "sex sex" he said. All I could see from from my persepctive was the shape of a naked woman's back on the front cover. We looked at each other - had we somehow landed ourselves in a sophisticated Phuket swingers bar? I consider myself pretty liberal when it comes to sexual preferences but potentially being put on the spot by a Thai waiter was something I didn't feel quite prepared for...

Gradaully the waiter with the leaflets made his way round to our table. People at other tables had been taking them and looking at them with interest. I took one apprehensively and burst out laughing. It actually said "Sun Sea" and was just a promotional flyer for a local beauty salon and gave prices for facials, nails, massages... all the usual stuff. Tom and collapsed into slightly relieved hysterics. No sex was expected of us... yet...

It had barely got to 10pm when it became clear that the restaurant was keen for us to stop drinking and start dancing. Most people were pulled onto their feet to join in with some shuffling salsa moves and general downing of mojito shots.  A couple of dancers - obviously booked for the evening - were doing some positively amazing salsa in one corner. The atmosphere had changed from being quiet and slightly formal to be a bit louder and slightly tipsy.

And then the first trannie made an appearance. Modelling a figure hugging red sequinned dress, she marched into the middle of the restaurant - along with mike stand and launched into a half hour miming set. It was the worst miming ever - it almost seemed that whoever was choosing the tracks in the back was deliberately picking ones she didn't know for a giggle. She of course pulled it off - with the help of rose petals which were strewn over her at various intervals by the waiters.

Soon everyone was joining in the party. One of the waiter stripped down to just his jeans, grabbed a violin and jumped onto one of the tables and did an enthusiastic spot of violin-miming which much hip-grinding to go along with it. The bongos, tamborines and maracas were brought out. All the tables were pushed back, more mojito shots were brought out, cigarettes were lit and then - Beyonce appeared.



To be fair, she was more like Diana Ross as her hair was so big it was a personality in itself but her miming and strutting to a Beyonce megamix was really the highlight of the evening. She even had the dances down. By this stage, pretty much everyone (apart from poor old Tom) in the restaurant was hammered - either up on the tables or giving it large on the dance floor. It had gone from feeling like an exclusive dining club to a private house party. Tom and I were still recovering from the hilarity of thinking we'd landed ourselves in a members-only sex club. In fact, it proved to be the best food, best music and generally most entertaining night of our trip - and one that we'll both remember for quite a while. However, we did decide to head back to our hotel at about 1am and the party in Ka Jok See was still going strong so who knows what happened at the end of the night...